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Yours

In light of everything going on in my life, this song has really ministered to me. It's a powerful song but it takes on a whole new light when you read the verse SCC added after the sudden death of his daughter. You can check out the new verse here.

Do you know it in your heart?

I used to say that I could get the things God was teaching me (especially grace & provision) in my head, (I know in my head that there is nothing I can do to make God love me any more than He always does. I know that my needs will be met.) I just can’t get it in my heart so that I live it. I’m beginning to think maybe that line of thinking is backwards. See I get it in my heart, but it’s my head that keeps trying to do things in my power or ways that make sense. I know scripture in my head. But something speaks to heart that says this is truth. I lived through too many things that can’t be explained in my head. To barrow the quote from Spock,” that’s logically impossible.” (I can’t explain how a bottle of laundry detergent that typically lasts a month lasted 2 or any other staple for that matter. I just know that it did, just like the flour & the oil did for Elijah.) Yet in my heart I know it is a God thing.

Here are my examples from the last few weeks:

1) I had my first interview in 8 years. It went ok I guess. But all the sudden I was just overwhelmed with this thought of I’ve got to get a job. I’ve got to send out more resumes, I’ve got to get the right reference; I’ve got to do_____________ (insert next task to getting a job here). Then I started thinking about a theme in my pastor's last few sermons, ”blessed to be a blessing”. God has got a place for me to bless others already planned out. I just have to trust. He knows who will teach the boys. He knows what the rest of the day holds. I don’t know any of this. But it’s ok because He does. What I do know is that: God is good! He loves me! He has a plan! He will take care of me! How do I know it? In my heart I know scripture is true. Scripture screams all this to us. Scriptures that were planted in me as a child just randomly have come to mind all week. I also know in my heart because I’ve lived it. I’ve seen jobs given, food left on my doorstep, bills paid, stuff that shouldn’t have lasted that long but did. I could go on & on. So why do I worry? I worry because my head can’t figure out the next thing for me to do to make things happen. It was like God is just calmly whispering, do you trust me?

2) The other is with our money. 2nd paycheck was due Friday, it was spent by Thursday. So Thursday Big C talks with someone that owed us some money. Not to hound him for it but more to see if he could pay a bill he had been putting off. He assures us that he will get us something. Friday Big C sets out to dole out the paycheck. Friday afternoon money spent & no word or payment from our friend. All we have left is what we put aside for tithe & we needed a few groceries.

The dilemma: do we buy the groceries & trust God to provide the tithe or do we hold on to the tithe & trust God for the groceries?

I start praying. At first it was one of those, “God make this person do the right thing” prayers. Then I changed directions I mean I know this person knew the right thing to do & even if this person didn’t come through God would. So I just started praying God help me trust you. A thought ran through my mind. God may have already worked it out. There could be an envelope waiting for us at the house. While I’m praying Big C gets a call. It’s the person that owes us the money he let’s us know that he’s bringing us the money. We stop at the store & there was an envelope waiting for us when we got home.

The solution: trust God.

I’m trying not to stress over the job thing. I know one will come in His time & until it does God will continue to meet our needs in other ways. I’m trying not to stress too much about the boys going to school. I know in the end it’s not the end of the world. I know that God will take care of them. I’m trying not to stress about the fact that I’m stressing when I know I shouldn’t stress. So maybe just maybe my heart is beginning to win out

Who knew?

I mean, how hard is it to find postcards? Not more than 6 months ago you could walk up to the service desk at our Wal-mart & there stood a whole rack for .15-.25 a piece. Fireman was signed up in a postcard exchange w/ some children over at the FIAR boards. I'm a little embarrassed to say I had let the mail out date slip up on us. No worry we'll just run to Wally world. We stroll up to the SD, no rack of cards. I start asking around & find out that they discontinued them the last time they did inventory or at least that's the best answer I got. Well we don't live in a real tourist type place. I was really in a bind . So this morning we did the only thing I knew to do. We used some of the neat scrap papers that I won from the growing in grace contest. Then I used google images for my hometown & the surrounding area. We came up w/ some neat pictures. Everything w/ the exception of the Titans Logo is within a thirty mile drive of our home. I'll still miss the date by one day (sorry ladies) but on the bright side you will have original postcards from us. My camera is charing so I'll post pics later.

10 Years!!!!!!!!!!!!

Big C & I have been married 10 years this month. This is what I made him for our anniversary present. I chose this song because I believe that one of the biggest ways God shows me His love is in the undeserved love of my family. The music is special because Big C is playing on the keys. It is written & preformed by Linda M.